And so from the franchise that gave us the Buttfumble came another Only the Jets moment. A Thanksgiving tradition like no other.
Here is how the Jets, and Only the Jets, execute it:
Tim Boyle, their overmatched third-string quarterback, the replacement for Zach Wilson, has the ball at his 49 with two seconds remaining in the first half following a D.J. Reed sideline interception of Tua Tagovailoa.
It is Dolphins 10, Jets 6, not because of Boyle, but because of a Brandin Echols pick-six.
Boyle backpedals and heaves one to the heavens, for a quarter of would-be heroes.
Unfortunately for him and the Jets, it is an underthrow.
Unfortunately for him and the Jets, Jevon Holland intercepts it at the 1. So be it, Dolphins 10, Jets 6, at the half, right?
Wrong.
Holland was off to the races untouched, past a dive from Max Mitchell, jukes a lunging Boyle, too late for Garrett Wilson to catch, first pick-six on a Hail Mary since at least 2006 when ESPN began tracking them. A 99-yard pick-six. Dolphins 17, Jets 6 at the half.
“It goes so wrong, man, it goes so wrong,” Wilson said after Dolphins 34, Jets 13. “That could describe a lot of things so far.”
A name please:
The Fail Mary (previously used).
The Flail Mary.
The Dan Quayle Mary (no politics, please).
The Oh Hell Mary.
The Third Rail Mary.
The Impale Mary.
In this case, The Nail Mary.
The nail in the coffin for the game, and undoubtedly for the season.
“I tried to get out of the pocket to the right and by the time I got it up I didn’t feel I got enough on it,” Boyle said. “Never really seen or been a part of anything like that.”
Who the hell has?
“Put it to bed, put that on me,” Robert Saleh told his team at the half.
Boyle turned out to be the last line of defense.
“He got through everyone, it was me and him and he made a good little move and stumbled me a little bit,” he said. “Unfortunate I couldn’t keep my feet and get him down.”
Breece Hall expressed surprise at the call, but taking a knee would have been a give-up play.
“It makes perfect sense to me,” Wilson said. “You get the ball at the 50, you throw the ball at the end zone. When you stop thinking like that, that’s when you’re passive. I don’t want to be a part of a passive offense. I’m happy we went for it.”
No way Boyle (27-for-38, 179 yards, one TD, two INTs), who couldn’t light a match much less provide a spark, was bringing the Jets back.
Dan Marino Fake Spike flashbacks, anyone?
Fake team.
Broken offense.
“Just a very unfortunate play at the end of the half when we felt like we had captured momentum,” Saleh said.
Breaking team.
“Just a freak thing to happen,” Laken Tomlinson said.
Boyle and Nathaniel Hackett, playing not to lose, sparked only the Jets defense … not to mention the Dolphins defense.
“Obviously you’re kind of hoping that you can make a miraculous play and create a spark,” Tyler Conklin said, “and obviously that went the exact opposite way of that.”
For comparison purposes, please review the Joe Judge/Jake Fromm operation.
If you needed a 5-yard completion on third-and-12, Boyle was your man.
If you needed an 8-yard completion on third-and-10, Boyle was your man.
If you needed a completion for no gain on third-and-1, Boyle was your man.
If you need a lack of discipline, Saleh’s Jets are your team. A foul against an official, unintentional as it may have been, earned Micheal Clemons an ejection early in the fourth quarter.
The Boyle Era will quickly give way to the Trevor Siemien Era. “I’m not there yet,” Saleh said.
A fourth-quarter Boyle pass was intercepted by Jerome Baker at the Miami 21. But it wasn’t a (insert your favorite name) Mary! Progress!
“No one said it was gonna be easy,” Wilson said, “but nothing’s been easy.”
At 4-7, Aaron Rodgers should reconsider his grandiose plans to make an historic comeback come hell or high Achilles. The offensive line (seven sacks) — with no Mekhi Becton, no Duane Brown — could not protect Boyle.
“Hard Knocks” and those sweet dreams seem an eternity ago.
The longest active playoff drought in professional sports will soon become longer, soon become 13 seasons, when the Jets are officially dead and buried.
“We can’t just put a new team together overnight,” Hall said.
That Lombardi Trophy that looked so lonely to Rodgers when he first walked into the Jets Atlantic Health Training Center isn’t any less lonely today.
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