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We apologise to readers but this column has been delayed by rain. We are hoping to get to its contents before we run out of space but we have to be honest with you, the forecast does not look promising.
No one is more disappointed than the author, who has thought long and hard about this particular article and has told his editors that “this week’s is really good”. He really wanted to push on with writing, especially when the showers were light, but the onset of heavy rain has forced him to delay indefinitely, partly for health and safety reasons.
We know what you are thinking. Surely writing this column is one of his few professional duties, and it is simply not good enough to expect you, the readers, to shrug your shoulders and accept that this is how things work in England. We are, after all, talking about one of summer’s more sodden European countries. What, you may ask, has rain to do with what is presumably an indoor task? Well, apparently, he’s feeling the low pressure.
He has had his whole life to adjust and prepare for such eventualities. Quite probably he has spent numerous summer days getting drenched while standing over hot coals, as his guests shelter indoors during another of his wife’s ill-advised summer barbecues. Surely, you ask, he has completed picnics in force-nine gales and sat encased in a plastic mac while The Specials played in the pouring rain at some summer music festival.
Furthermore, given the meteorology of this country, was it not the author’s job to have a couple of reserve columns ready for use in case of inclement weather? Of course, in an ideal world, this would indeed be the case. But a run of summer drizzle and a last-minute mini-break in Rye depleted his store of back-up articles. We can assure you he’s very fed up about it. At this moment, he is sitting poised at his keyboard ready to start writing. He has actually wandered out into the garden a number of times for a quick pitch inspection and to see if the cloud is lifting. This has not, in our memory, happened before, aside from the waterlogged article of 2015.
Even at this late stage, his editors have assured him that writing remains possible. There are at least 350 words that can still be accommodated, and though he’d have to deploy a rather more staccato style than is his preference to cram them all in, he is ready to meet the challenge.
Obviously, he blames the cricket. Your author was struck by the fact that it is apparently OK for people whose only job is to organise and play a five-day cricket match to fail to meet this challenge, even in a country where rain has been known to happen. And, yes, he is a bit sore that this particular rain delay has killed the series when he had a ticket for the final test and England were set to beat the Aussies. But that isn’t really his point, because rain has saved England enough times, and what really cost them the Ashes was losing the first two games.
No, what rankles is that even today, when traditional cricket is fighting for its survival, when spectators were being presented with one of the closest and most thrilling series ever, no one in the cricketing authorities felt under any obligation to do any of the things that might allow for the completion of the match which they exist to put on.
An obvious solution would be to adjust schedules to build in one or two reserve days so that delayed games have a better chance of completing five full days of cricket. The weather in Manchester the day after the test was good enough for play. Even this step could not be a guarantee, but it would improve the odds of defying the rain. Wimbledon, after all, still manages to stage a final every year, despite a much tighter schedule, by the simple expedient of planning for extra days if necessary.
It’s just a thought our author had while waiting for the break in the clouds that will allow him to fulfil his own professional obligations. Alas, the forecast remains bleak and we are rapidly reaching the end of the space available. Such a pity, too, because this week’s article was shaping up to be a real thriller.
Follow Robert on Twitter @robertshrimsley and email him at robert.shrimsley@ft.com
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